06 September, 2010



04 September, 2010

Well, well, what have we here???

So I've decided I'm going to be happy from now on, how many times have I said that? At least, one hundred and a zillion times but this time I mean it ok I've always meant it but without medication its impossible.
I cut my own bangs and whats up with my eyes?  Anyway, I think I did a pretty good job, my Mommy said so and thats all that counts. Yup, so wanna know what I'm dancing to:

Yes, doesn't it just want to make you mooooove? Well, it makes me move. Geez, I like the happy part of my manic episodes but they don't last very long hopefully I'll be jolly till the weekends over!
I pray to Jesus everyday for a cure. I hear standing on your head releases serotonin to the brain naturally, I've heard I haven't tried it yet standing on my head kinda scares me because I always feel like I'm going to break my neck in the process. I cut my bangs twice a week now just for fun and I only have 19 dollars to my name at the moment so you understand why I've christened myself a hair stylist. This made me smile and think of my Grandma (she passed away in '03) I believe she got down to this style of dancing:

20 August, 2010

all good things come to an end

Once you captivated my heart but now it seems as if the ashes of your fiery ways have been blown away by blustery winds, again.

Be Gone...

...and yes this is about a stupid boy...

why do all good things come to and end???

17 August, 2010

Make the Mean People Go Away!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I dillusional or is the moon doing something strange to all the already lame dumbasses of the world, I dunno? Cuz they are coming out at an all time high lately and I just can't seem to get away from them. I run, I flee, I go as far as I possibly can and yet they still find me and tell me lame ass stories of how their love lifes are holding up, I don't care I left for a reason!!!! Stay Away!!!! Don't Make Contact with the Wierdos!!!!
Anyway, peace out.....
Please, please, please make the dumb people go away!

Am I dillusional or is the moon doing something strange to all the already lame dumbasses of the world, I dunno? Cuz they are coming out at an all time high lately and I just can't seem to get away from them. I run, I flee, I go as far as I possibly can and yet they still find me and tell me lame ass stories of how their love lifes are holding up, I don't care I left for a reason!!!! Stay Away!!!! Don't Make Contact with the Wierdos!!!!
Anyway, peace out.....
Please, please, please make the dumb people go away!

Explanations please.

I could go on and on about how I feel or the state of my emotions but I don't think anyone would care. Thats ok, who wants to hear someone complain. Instead, I'm taking a different outlook on life by embracing the mistakes I've made and use them as tools for my future conquests. Certain circumstances occur in our lives due to the fact that either 1.)We invite them to walk into our lives or 2.)Life throws us a curveball. Nothing, can be explained, just lived, experienced, tried, and tested. Most, of us do not live by the seat our pants but there is something to be said for that mentality, spontaniety; it allows us experience life on a totally different level. Sometimes, planning for the future doesn't mean everything will fall into place, it just means you've saved up a decent little stash to help you through what will happen next. But who's to say we may not die within a week from the day you retire or you meet with a millionaire; it could both ways, I like to be optimistic, though.

So with all that said lets see how this frame of mind works out for me and um I'll be sure to document it in this here, blog-o-rama.

15 August, 2010


K, so I know I have problems with my little obsessions and then when I'm over I'll just throw it in the trash, make sense? Didn't think so. Its like when you want something so bad you would even sacrifice your own reputation for it and then when you do get it or even within your reach you realize all your efforts were fruitless. I guess its the whole "hit it an quit it" mentality. Ahhh, the velveeta generation, comprendes??? Where would we be without microwaves, I'll tell you, kernel free teeth is where we'd be!!!

And I qoute, Courtney Love:
when they get what they want they never want it again
when they get what they want they never want it again

Here's a song that explains how I feel, click here, if you want to dive deep into the chasms of my disturbing little brain:

13 August, 2010

bad manners

If I tell you what I'm thinking then I know you will be receptive in some shape way or form. So then why would I get mad at your reaction if my personal thoughts were exposed only by my own doing?

I don't understand why people have to get so offended when another person speaks their mind. If you don't like it walk away, ignore it, pretend you don't have ears. And unless, your watching something on t.v. or YouTube please don't saY sHUTUP! It's super rude!!!

Ok, so if you don't understand what I'm talking about it doesn't matter that was just a personal thought on a situation I still can't get over between an ex-friend and I. Yes, ex-friend, they exist as well - he's an idiot and it doesn't matter anymore!!!

Anyway, I think this song helps me on my road to super duper happy times!!!

But most importantly, the thing is to be happy on the inside without abusing your mothers prescription drugs. Thats, never good, nor is smuggling them to your friends, just so they can keep inviting you to go out with them, Ahem, I'm a loser. I know, but you live, get burned, and learn. So there!

10 August, 2010

Vena Cava & Rodarte

K, so all these outfits seem so amazing I want to wear them all or at least emulate them..Anyway, this video kind of shows how great they are of course its not close enough for me to drool over but it'll do for now:

Multiple runways, shoes that would only appear in your dreams, pale faces, textured tops and bottoms, and the whole show up close, I think my brain went on pleasure overload!!!

07 August, 2010

Hoping for the Best

The SuburbsK, so I just started taking St. John's Wort to help me cope with my depression hopefully it'll work out for me I read some reviews on it and they sounded pretty good. I also started drinking Alpiste and that well its a little hard to explain but it supposed to suppress your appetite and help cure diabetes, I fortunately don't have diabetes but a voracious appetite not that thats a bad thing but being hungry all the time and having a growling tummy can get somewhat bothersome. Apparently, there's also a St. John's Wort to "promote" sleep but I dunno, we'll see. Anyway, I feel kind of bummed cuz I haven't really gotten out of the house much, and the only friend I had has been treating me like crap lately and I feel so horrible about that but there's not much I can do about that. So, I guess I'll just have to move on. I haven't met anyone either, the last guy I met I felt was too young but I think now I overanalyzed the whole situation; I'd like to call him or text but I feel like a dumbass now.

Anyway, here's a video I made and yes it's wierd.

04 August, 2010

I'm not exactly sure how much farther along I can go on like this. I try to be happy on my own and it lasts for about a month then the pukeface sadness returns. I could just scream because I hate it so much I wish the word didn't even exist then maybe it would leave me alone. I long for infinite happiness of course that is a mad dream but still I can aspire for something, can't I?
I can't stop being hungry, swallowing sleeping pills, pain pills, benadryl, or stealing my aunt's anti anxiety pills (those are actually the bestest).

I want a swandwich right now, and I'm not hungry so why deprive myself?

Dance dance dance to this do me a favor don't look at me while I do this with my eyes closed. Help me smile, help me laugh, help me breathe this bitter air, help me God please all I want is for the pain in my little heart to stop not the beat just the pain.Recovery

03 July, 2010


If you live in a box you will suffocate, so then why am I stuck in one. Personally, and not emotionally or vice versa I cannot open up.

Am I stuck? Do I need progress or just a push into the atmosphere?

The sun is sooo bright today and I am wearing long sleeves, that happened to me a few days ago; sweat sweat sweat, my body dry.

With, black eyeliner smudges in my eyes I blink incessantly, I tear up unprovoked and grab your attention.

He was so cute that night, he had the greatest smile, and he let me lead the dance.

Still, the only person I really wanted to dance with that night was you. But, you knew how to let go so easy and that made me wonder.

It made me sad to know you couldn't fight for me.

And now I'm going to sleep its so late and I'm so high.

27 June, 2010

I would read my Blog

Cute Purikura Online cute

Cute Purikura Online cute

Cute Purikura Online cute

What do I do on a Sunday afternoon, take pictures of myself and add cute little borders all while eating FunYuns!!!!!!!!!!!!!

26 June, 2010

My wish day

So today I went to the Goodwill, because I live on a budget but I still want to buy a lot. Plus, there are some shoes that while overly priced will remain in my memory until purchased. Thank heaven for sales.

I documented the highlights of my day, lame, but pretty darn accurate.

14 June, 2010

sometimes how i feel

So sometimes I feel like I'm just going going going but not really getting anywhere. Thank God for God I just let him do all the thinking for me because lately I seem to be messing everything up. Everytime it looks like everything is lined up just perfectly some strange wind comes and blows it all away. I'm happy but I don't know why but I'm not crazy or anything like that I hope I just try to laugh most of the time, Ok, so that may sound a little crazy but sanity is overrated anyway!!!!!!!!!!!

I've got to admit this is how I feel sometimes going, and going, and going...

13 June, 2010

Currently obsessed with these websites: http://www.rowky.com/ and http://www.lemoncookie.com/
Their clothes are soooo wonderfully awesome and amazing not to mention the style inspiration you'll get just when checking out their awesomeness.  Here are a few examples☺
Ok, so my graphic art skills are a bit lacking but you get the idea (I hope). These aren't the best pics either but I'm so freakin' lazy anyway here's a video i made I think its kind of a better example☻

04 June, 2010

Happy Donut Weekend!!!!!!!!

Lets all Dance and eat donuts especially these kind:
donut Pictures, Images and Photos

Elfen Lied Pictures, Images and Photos
Her hair I loooove it:

01 June, 2010

I ♥ Japanese Fashion

I'm officially obsessed with Japanese fashion I wish I knew the language unfortunately I don't but pictures are universal and I found this great channel on Youtube that scans all their magazines:


Ahhh, I could look at these all day(:
oh, and on a cuter note:

The music is pretty romantic too!

25 May, 2010

I walk past you, did you see me, I saw you. Then I dreamt of you and that was nice because you were wearing that green shirt I like so much with your black hair. You are so tall I wish I could climb up your arms to kiss your pale cheeks, ahhhh....sigh
Watch this for a lovely time...

24 May, 2010

Bananas + Marshmellows+Me=Happy(*=*)

For some odd reason I'm really into sweets, pastry, candy...geez, here are some recipes I find quite appealing. I'm going to try to make something,Hmmm lets see what happens.
Crystal Flower Cupcakes

You will need:

Choose Favorite cupcakes recipe
Royal Icing recipe
Sugar Paste Icing
Crystal Edible Flowers
Food coloring
Colored sugar
Candy dots
White non-pariels
Circle cookie cutter
1. Color the Royal Icing with food coloring. Frost the cupcakes with this icing.

2. Divide the Sugar Paste Icing into two bowls. Color each batch a color that will match the Crystal Edible Flowers.

3. Prepare basket weave with the Sugar Paste Icing. Place it on the cupcake.

4. Pipe the edges of the basket weave with Royal Icing.

5. Prepare crystal edible flowers. Use frosting as glue to attach Crystal Edible Flowers to the cupcakes.

Pink cupcakes Pictures, Images and Photos
by TheGreaterGood Pictures, Images and Photos
But this may happen!!!!!!!!!!!!