all good things come to an end

Once you captivated my heart but now it seems as if the ashes of your fiery ways have been blown away by blustery winds, again.

Be Gone...

...and yes this is about a stupid boy...

why do all good things come to and end???

Make the Mean People Go Away!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I dillusional or is the moon doing something strange to all the already lame dumbasses of the world, I dunno? Cuz they are coming out at an all time high lately and I just can't seem to get away from them. I run, I flee, I go as far as I possibly can and yet they still find me and tell me lame ass stories of how their love lifes are holding up, I don't care I left for a reason!!!! Stay Away!!!! Don't Make Contact with the Wierdos!!!!
Anyway, peace out.....
Please, please, please make the dumb people go away!



Am I dillusional or is the moon doing something strange to all the already lame dumbasses of the world, I dunno? Cuz they are coming out at an all time high lately and I just can't seem to get away from them. I run, I flee, I go as far as I possibly can and yet they still find me and tell me lame ass stories of how their love lifes are holding up, I don't care I left for a reason!!!! Stay Away!!!! Don't Make Contact with the Wierdos!!!!
Anyway, peace out.....
Please, please, please make the dumb people go away!

Explanations please.

I could go on and on about how I feel or the state of my emotions but I don't think anyone would care. Thats ok, who wants to hear someone complain. Instead, I'm taking a different outlook on life by embracing the mistakes I've made and use them as tools for my future conquests. Certain circumstances occur in our lives due to the fact that either 1.)We invite them to walk into our lives or 2.)Life throws us a curveball. Nothing, can be explained, just lived, experienced, tried, and tested. Most, of us do not live by the seat our pants but there is something to be said for that mentality, spontaniety; it allows us experience life on a totally different level. Sometimes, planning for the future doesn't mean everything will fall into place, it just means you've saved up a decent little stash to help you through what will happen next. But who's to say we may not die within a week from the day you retire or you meet with a millionaire; it could both ways, I like to be optimistic, though.

So with all that said lets see how this frame of mind works out for me and um I'll be sure to document it in this here, blog-o-rama.

obsessed

K, so I know I have problems with my little obsessions and then when I'm over I'll just throw it in the trash, make sense? Didn't think so. Its like when you want something so bad you would even sacrifice your own reputation for it and then when you do get it or even within your reach you realize all your efforts were fruitless. I guess its the whole "hit it an quit it" mentality. Ahhh, the velveeta generation, comprendes??? Where would we be without microwaves, I'll tell you, kernel free teeth is where we'd be!!!

And I qoute, Courtney Love:
when they get what they want they never want it again
when they get what they want they never want it again


Here's a song that explains how I feel, click here, if you want to dive deep into the chasms of my disturbing little brain:

bad manners

If I tell you what I'm thinking then I know you will be receptive in some shape way or form. So then why would I get mad at your reaction if my personal thoughts were exposed only by my own doing?

I don't understand why people have to get so offended when another person speaks their mind. If you don't like it walk away, ignore it, pretend you don't have ears. And unless, your watching something on t.v. or YouTube please don't saY sHUTUP! It's super rude!!!

Ok, so if you don't understand what I'm talking about it doesn't matter that was just a personal thought on a situation I still can't get over between an ex-friend and I. Yes, ex-friend, they exist as well - he's an idiot and it doesn't matter anymore!!!

Anyway, I think this song helps me on my road to super duper happy times!!!


But most importantly, the thing is to be happy on the inside without abusing your mothers prescription drugs. Thats, never good, nor is smuggling them to your friends, just so they can keep inviting you to go out with them, Ahem, I'm a loser. I know, but you live, get burned, and learn. So there!

Vena Cava & Rodarte

K, so all these outfits seem so amazing I want to wear them all or at least emulate them..Anyway, this video kind of shows how great they are of course its not close enough for me to drool over but it'll do for now:


Multiple runways, shoes that would only appear in your dreams, pale faces, textured tops and bottoms, and the whole show up close, I think my brain went on pleasure overload!!!

Hoping for the Best

K, so I just started taking St. John's Wort to help me cope with my depression hopefully it'll work out for me I read some reviews on it and they sounded pretty good. I also started drinking Alpiste and that well its a little hard to explain but it supposed to suppress your appetite and help cure diabetes, I fortunately don't have diabetes but a voracious appetite not that thats a bad thing but being hungry all the time and having a growling tummy can get somewhat bothersome. Apparently, there's also a St. John's Wort to "promote" sleep but I dunno, we'll see. Anyway, I feel kind of bummed cuz I haven't really gotten out of the house much, and the only friend I had has been treating me like crap lately and I feel so horrible about that but there's not much I can do about that. So, I guess I'll just have to move on. I haven't met anyone either, the last guy I met I felt was too young but I think now I overanalyzed the whole situation; I'd like to call him or text but I feel like a dumbass now.

Anyway, here's a video I made and yes it's wierd.

I'm not exactly sure how much farther along I can go on like this. I try to be happy on my own and it lasts for about a month then the pukeface sadness returns. I could just scream because I hate it so much I wish the word didn't even exist then maybe it would leave me alone. I long for infinite happiness of course that is a mad dream but still I can aspire for something, can't I?
I can't stop being hungry, swallowing sleeping pills, pain pills, benadryl, or stealing my aunt's anti anxiety pills (those are actually the bestest).

I want a swandwich right now, and I'm not hungry so why deprive myself?


Dance dance dance to this do me a favor don't look at me while I do this with my eyes closed. Help me smile, help me laugh, help me breathe this bitter air, help me God please all I want is for the pain in my little heart to stop not the beat just the pain.